A letter to someone special I know

Dear M,

Every time I hear from you it makes me happy. Insanely happy. I don’t think neither of us can fully comprehend how life-transforming that hug was at the forest where we first properly met. At least for me. You see, my life then had a fixed structure. Things would happen this way and then go that way; it was all pre-determined. And then it all fell apart like a house of cards and my first instinct was to head to a beach; something that people around me told I never would do and would just speak about doing. I wanted to seek refugee, watch the waves, run away from everyone and just take a breather. I did not expect to meet the people that I did. I did not expect to meet Yorit and her family who showered me with so much of kindness and love. I did not expect to run into you but I did and it changed my life for the better. 

Meeting you showed me that the world was a much larger place than I could ever comprehend. And there was so much about the human nature, our spirits, our tenacity, our capacity and more that I am still yet to learn and fully understand. It broadened my horizons that day and I’m sure it will take me a lifetime to understand it. Even then it would not be enough. I met you at a phase in my life when nothing made sense and I just wanted to end it all; just to stop the noise and grief in my head. All it took was one random act of kindness from you, a simple hug in the middle of the night before you boarded your bus and…. I was born again. That night you filled me with hope and then some more each time I met you afterwards during my weekend escapades. I drove three hundred kilometres and back just to meet you simply because it was worth it and I felt energised and hopeful each time I met you.

M, you are a kind, sweet, gentle and amazing soul who has immense potential and the capacity to touch and change lives for the better. I also know how sensitive you can be both emotionally and physically at times. I can understand to an extent; I am a highly sensitive person myself and for people like us especially the world can seem like a cruel place. It certainly can be at times but best not to let it get to us.

One of my favourite moments was the day after your birthday when we met at a café where they served those mango smoothie servings in earthen bowls. We sat under a tree watching the sky, I was grateful for the peace and tranquillity of the place that night which was surprising as that would usually bother me; a quiet place in an empty road surrounded by trees and no people? GTFO. But with you around it didn’t seem so scary and I didn’t mind. I gave you your gifts; the book and the bracelet. You rested your head on my shoulders and at that moment I was at peace. I didn’t want to go back home the next day and so we began planning my next visit to meet you that very night. I must confess, I couldn’t look into your eyes that night simply because of how radiant they were, and I admit, each time you smiled I felt immensely shy and I wanted to crawl back into my shell. Luckily, I didn’t.

That night I asked you to do one thing and I will repeat that here because it is worth mentioning again; Be strong. Not because you can be but because you are.

Life can seem pretty daunting at times. People can come across as rude and uncaring; sometimes they are, sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding. A lot of times it can feel that it is close to impossible to ever make a real connection with someone and bond with them the way we want to be.

Here’s a secret to life that you inadvertently ended up teaching me and I am glad to share this with you now; don’t seek connections in life. Live it instead.

Go out there. Do something because you want to and not because of the money. Live your life vicariously and live it well. Meet people because you want to and not because you expect or seek something from them. You’ve been blessed with immense potential and I want you to take life in stride with each step and be grateful for where you are, who you are and the opportunities that lie ahead of you. Be excited for life, live it well and the rest will fall into place so don’t worry about it. Just focus on living and making the best out of each moment.

Today we started the construction of our new home. Watching the labourers hard at work it struck me how diverse our lives were. I get to work in an office on a laptop and go home each day. They get to go taxing manual labour all day and sleep in makeshift sleeping beds under their trucks. In different parts of the world there are many such people most of who have different stories and backgrounds; we will mostly never meet all these people and it truly is a testament to how large our world is and how far we’ve spread across to lead such different and rich lives with varying life experiences. The world is so exponentially large; it will take more than a lifetime just to fully comprehend its magnitude and truly appreciate this one shot that we’ve been given to live it. To live life is sheer privilege indeed. Yes, at times I do feel sad. Let down. The days do get lonely. They go by in a blur. And then I remind myself…

I remind myself how lucky and fortunate I am to lead the life that I currently live. I have everything a man can ask for to survive and make it in this world. I have been blessed indeed. And each time I feel sad I know that this moment is fleeting, and I can change it by simply working on it. I don’t want to let that feeling or any of my emotions conquer me. Take this from a man who battled suicidal thoughts at a very young age; it really is for naught and if there is one thing that I have learnt and know for sure it is that you can bring your piece of heaven on this planet, take charge of your life and live it really well because that is how it is supposed to be. 

Don’t let your bad moments get to you no matter how tempting that can be. You are strong, you are brave, and I am so confident that you will lead a very rich life filled with love and peace. I think you are aware of it deep down as well so please; make that come true and lead a life truly worth living and emulating. 

You have so many reasons for to be grateful in your life so please be aware of them, affirm them and practise gratitude. Know how blessed you are. I know you believe in God as well so trust that he will take care of you and will guide you well. You don’t need to seek any sort of connection with anyone; all that matters are the connection you have with yourself, your inner soul and God. And that alone will fill you with much happiness and you will be ready to tackle each day in a hopeful manner.

You are strong. You are brave. You are kind. You are amazing. Know it, know who are; reconnect with that part of yourself and know that you will never be truly alone because you have yourself to trust and lean on at the end of the day. You are all that you need at times and that can be enough. A tree lives that way; proud and strong and I am sure we can take a cue from that. Just live; live your life well by listening to your heart and gut. Trust for things to fall in the right place when they are supposed to. You have come so far in life and you should be proud of that. You have every reason in the world to smile and be happy.

I cannot wait to see you again this time in person. All the best with all your endeavours. I pray for all your dreams to come true. You are beautiful and amazing; I cannot wait for the whole world to see that, I cannot wait for YOU to see that.

Lots of love,

S.

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