So a friend got a job I wanted and I didn’t….

A dear friend of mine just got into a company where another friend of mine already works. The second friend kept touting repeatedly that this is a good company almost to the point where this company felt like the antidote to all my problems including career-related issues, general dissatisfaction and disenchantment with romantic relationships. Inspired by her words I applied for a position in her company. I didn’t make it; I wasn’t even chosen for a face to face interview. My other friend, however, snagged the job.

Of course, I was extremely happy for her because she is a kindred spirit and no one deserves this better than her; I’m glad she got the job. However, my second instinct was to then punch a wall. Perhaps it has to do with my age and pent-up aggression. My friend who got the job tried to comfort me saying it didn’t pay half as well as her previous job and asked me to vent out my angst through writing. So here I am….

When this news was broken down for me, two sides of myself immediately sprung into action. The first of course is the negative side which loves to put me down constantly. I didn’t get the job but my friend did? OF COURSE that makes perfect sense considering how useless I am….or so it tells me. The second side tries to comfort me rationally. Funnily enough, it asked me to think about the ‘employee mindset’ that Robert Kiyosaki mentions in his talks. My friends and I currently all have that mindset. I have been affected by it a tad bit more; I believed for a second that this company was the solution to all my problems when it is not. I know for a fact that it was not and everyone else knows that as well. At the end of the day, it’s just another place that gives me a paycheck at the end of every month. My current organization already does that.

But no, I still wanted to punch a wall. This isn’t comforting me one bit! All right then, we’ll look at transcendence. Starting with ‘comparison’. A wise man would compare himself with the person he was yesterday instead of with someone else. That is not what I am doing; I am comparing myself with my friend who in my head got the better end of the deal…the stick without the shit end….when that’s not the truth. The grass is always greener on the other side. Fine, let’s look at my end of the pasture. It’s…okay. It could be greener but its not bad. Granted I have antagonistic people working around me including my ex but for an introvert and an evolving misanthrope, I am okay working away in some corner in peace. Who was I yesterday? A person with an employee mindset but for now I have constraints, I am bound by expectations so it’s okay…for now. I was a person with a steady job and income yesterday…and I got to ride my bike back and forth in peace. Today…I am still the same person…and will be for a couple more days till I get a call from another company.

I do need a break however, I do need a do-over again after all that transpired six months ago. Working in a place with no growth where one of your team members is your ex is hard. And painful. But for the most part, I am also the cause of my angst and suffering. Already I am in a tricky and precarious position and yet I am the one shaking the rope beneath my feet even though that could result in my fall. So why must I become my demon and tormentor? Today as well I get to work in peace, shut the hell up and ride home….the last part which I enjoy. So why am I complaining? Granted I would have loved to work in that place with my two friends….it would be a great way to start a new chapter. But if it’s not in my control and my story is supposed to go a different path, then fine. There is no level of acceptance on my path about a lot of situations and aspects in my life and this is where I stumble.

Accept your situation. Which isn’t so bad, hey, you can tolerate your current level of suffering. Work on it, work on yourself…let’s see what else happens. In the grand scheme of things, my first friend would go back to her country, my second friend would go forward with her life eventually and then…it would be just yet another company. Ten years from now, I might choose to retire early and start working on certain passions I want to pursue. Acting? Theatre? Teaching? Working for a suicide prevention organization?

So losing this opportunity is okay because this does not change my actual life trajectory whatever that may be and Opportunites are aplenty provided you have the time, patience, courage, vision and wisdom to see, recognise, deal with and accept them when they come and go.

Or in short…it’s okay. I still get to talk to those two friends and count them among the list of good souls I’ve met so far in your life. It’s not the end of the world and even if it was, I could still deal with it. What would the hero in any given story do? ; transcend his suffering and work towards betterment. Mustn’t I do that if I am the hero of my story then?

The purpose of life is to find the biggest burden in your life and then carry it. Currently, this is what I am doing now so it’s okay if I occasionally stumble when I am on my path. However, there is something that has to be said about the employee mindset and our obsessions with cure-alls…a one-stop solution or an antidote that heals everything. Perhaps I am not the only one who feels this way at times but then again it might also have to do with my age and current level of maturity this second. Of course, there is no such thing as a cure-all…be it potions, companies, relationships, anything. We must then start with ourselves gradually as this too is a process, not something that’s easily remedied. Just possessing knowledge alone doesn’t immediately take you to the top of the mountain. You know it now so start climbing.

There is no singular solution or answer to all your problems and questions in life. Work on it and be patient with yourself when you are undergoing the process of your personal growth.

Sigh… No more punching walls for me today.

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